Neighborly niceness...

(Note: This is a reconstruction. There may be some fiction involved.)

Lovely, young family of four walks down the alley to get to their car, which is parked on their parking pad. They've recently been parking here and walking around the block now that it is warmer. They realized that they can indeed park two cars on the parking pad and still have enough room to get into and out of the cars. They have come to enjoy this flexibility because their street has a high volume of cars that park on their end of the block. There is a car parked diagonally in the alley completely obstructing the roadway going east, but not causing the family any sort of problem. The couple settle their children into the car, open the windows, jokes around with a pair of walkie-talkies as the youngest son says, "Ignite engines." This tells the dad that he can start the car and begin driving because the son now has his seat belt on. Tap tap tap. "Hey neighbor."

It's the next door neighbor that has five cars total in the two person household. He parks all of his cars used or unused directly in front of his house and his neighbor's houses because this is the city after all. "Do you mind if I use your parking pad. I need to work on my car and I can't get it into the garage."

The fathers says, "Sure. We'll be gone this afternoon until about 2 for a birthday party. That shouldn't be a problem." The wife sits there steaming. She can't believe the gall of this neighbor who so inconsiderately parks so many cars on the street making it difficult for any of the other neighbors to park near their front doors, who rarely has anything to carry to the house unless it's a mini keg of beer, who has blatantly told the rest of us neighbors that getting to park in front of one's house is a chance that one has to take because it's "just part of living in the city" but leaves cones out on the street when it's snowed so that he and his wife have spots directly in front of their house, and who can't even park further down the block or on the not so far down cross street because he "just doesn't want to" making it just that much more cramped on our end of the block.

We've been using the parking pad since it got nice out. We're hoping to get the door put in on the parking pad so that we no longer have to walk around the block. It's really lovely to get home with a trunk full of groceries and to have a shorter walk to the kitchen once the back gate is open. It's nice that even though we have to walk around the corner to get to our front door, because at the moment we don't have a way into the yard, to not have to fret over getting a spot close to the front door when we have two boys and bags and crap to carry into the house. We have to walk further, but it's a guaranteed spot. It's also less stressful to not hold our neighbors in contempt when they have guests that park in the limited parking, especially when those guests take, and make, a space that could easily fit two cars into one spot because they are inept at parallel parking.

That is, until your neighbor with five cars asked to take one of those spaces in your parking pad, and now that you've written this post, you're starting to wonder if he's doing it for some sadistic I will make you give me reverence and take a bit of your newly, not really acquired but implemented, space because I get off on taking up as much public space around my private space as I can. Except, sir, that that parking pad is NOT public space. I WANT MY SPACE BACK. It's human nature to be territorial and if I have to, I'll go out there and pee all over the parking pad. It's still there, by the way, and it's almost seven. I'm going to go and jam out to P!nk's Sober now and get away for a little while.