Wordless Wednesday...

Not! Ha! Not really. When have I ever been wordless? If anything I'm too wordy. So the boys started school Monday. The Older has jumped right in. He is more confident about his school situation this year, which is very good. I think his teacher is a good fit and I'm hopeful that her influence will help him become a bit more organized. Monkey was worried before school started because he remembered his teacher from this year last year, and he thought she was mean. However, he learned that she isn't mean, she's actually nice. This year, I've been dropping off and picking up both boys. In doing so, I've been able to observe his teacher and I think that she is on par with his first preschool teacher at Stix. She has a real even temper and her way of keeping the class calm is speaking quietly and closely to the kids. I think his class is a really good group, meaning the class is manageable, read no intensely bad trouble makers. I know that's awful, but even the best teachers can lose control over their class when there's even just one trouble maker. Out of control classrooms leads to not much learning because there are so many disruptions. They're still getting settled though.

Our routine is not quite in place, it's only been two and a half days after all, but we're working on it. I just wanted to give a shout out to our President, Barack Obama, for not allowing tv during the school week for his kids. We had a bit of opposition from The Older about no tv/electronics/video games when we told him the rule before school started, until I told him that the President doesn't allow his children to do those things either. Since that conversation, The Older has only pondered how he'll use his time with those devices this weekend. There hasn't been any whining or even asking for those things either. Soon though our extracurriculars will really kick in and we won't have much time for electronics anyway.

Now it's time for me to go. I have five chapters of reading for when my classes start next week. I went to the bookstore today and I had a box of books...AN ENTIRE BOX...AND IT IS HEAVY!!!!! I'm so proud of myself for getting to this point and, for now, I'm excited about this new journey. The community college one was fun and, now that I've moved on, I'm really looking forward to all the work that I'll have to put into the four year university journey. Time to get reading.

He's full of them lately...

I told Monkey this morning that he gets to wear a tie everyday to school. He got so excited. His reply, "I get to wear a tie everyday to school?!?! At my language immersion school? I'm going to get to be rich and famous too?!?" I told him I wasn't sure about the rich and famous part. I do know that he'll be adorable in a tie and blazer.

More 5 year old musings...

One evening the boys were with babysitters and after swimming, the sitters were unable to find Monkey's underwear and shorts. They were in there, but weren't found at the time. The sitters found a pair of their sister's smallest underwear and pants. After washing, we tried to return them. First the underwear, when they were finished in the washing/drying cycle. The little girl (maybe a little embarrassed?) said don't worry about it and to throw them out. So this evening, Dirty brought the shorts back. When Monkey gave the shorts back to the mom, he said, "We can't find the underwear, but that's okay. My penis kept falling out anyway." We're working on our tact here in the House Full of Boys. Ha. Also, yes we use very techinical terminology for our "tenders" or "bits and pieces" or (insert whatever politically correct term you use for your swimsuit area here).

Five year old ramblings...

The Older boy is gone on a play date for the afternoon which gave me an afternoon with Monkey. We immediately left for the grocery store to pick up some lunch meat and milk (and diet cola :). Monkey must not have heard The Older being picked up and at the bottom of the steps, he yelled back into the house, "The Older, come on we're going to the grocery store."

So I told Monkey, "He's not here."

Monkey asked, "Where is he?"

I replied,"He's at J's house. Remember? He had a play date with her."

Monkey's response as he shrugs, "Well...that was quick." So we were off to the grocery store. We had a pretty decent run. I love going to the grocery store in the mornings during the week. I honestly used the grocery store like some people use coffee shops or bars. Before I started school, almost two years ago, I was at the grocery store daily. I have also always enjoyed my time with either of the boys at the grocery store. It may sound weird, but the grocery store was my favorite place to teach my children stuff. We would talk about food or the polite way to leave your cart when you are perusing the shelves looking for items or using manners to interact with people at the deli or seafood or bakery counters or the checkout persons. I find it better to "hang out" in than say Target where I would just buy crap that I don't really need or couldn't really afford. There's always some food item that could be picked up though. (I'm looking into getting a therapist to deal with some of my eating/food issues. They run deep.)

Anyway, after the grocery store on our way home through the park, Monkey yells out, "Hey, I think that's E.'s car." Our incredibly cute two year old neighbor girl.

I said, "Yes, it probably is. They were going to be in the park today."

Monkey asked, "Well, does she even know how to swing?"

"I would say probably yes. She does."

Monkey then asked, "Does she know my name?"

"Maybe. I'm not completely sure."

His final question that left me giggling the rest of the ride home, "Well, does she know what the back of my throat looks like? Because I've looked at it in the mirror before."

My response, "No, no she probably doesn't know what the back of your throat looks like."

Once home, we had a nice little lunch chatting about his friends. This started because he wanted to watch Minnesota Cuke before nap time, which is about dealing with bullies. That led to him talking about people who he thinks are bullies and how he would go about being friends with them. Then he said something slightly disturbing, "D. always tries to kiss E. (a friend from school not the neighbor) and he shouldn't do that because they don't match."

I pushed this a little further, "What do you mean they don't match?"

"D. is brown and E. isn't."

I asked, "Who says it has to be that way?"

Monkey stated, "I do. It's a simple puzzle."

My teaching moment, "Well, I'm here to tell you that even though people don't match it doesn't mean that they can't kiss and love each other." I then gave as many examples as I could think of including his grandparents.

Monkey added, "But D. is mean to E. sometimes, and they're not best friends."

I state, "Well, I guess that's good."

Monkey asks completely shocked, "To be mean to people?!?"

I clarify, "No, that it would be good to be best friends before you kiss someone."

Monkey says a little relieved, "Oh. Can I save the rest of this spaghetti for later?"

"Yes, but I want to make sure that you know that it's okay for people who don't match to kiss each other."

He asks sounding a little bored, "Back to the D. thing again?"

"Just that." And thus ended the intercultural education of the five year old at lunch. Apparently, he was most offended by a boy being mean to a girl sometimes, but then trying to kiss her other times.

Morning Routine...

There are only so many moments where I feel I get the chance to really focus and connect with my boys. For most of the morning, while we're getting ready for school, there's so much silliness between them. It's mostly potty humor with "butts" and "pooping" being the main focus. They are little boys after all. I try to limit this because it's really easily escalated to running at top speed through our apartment. (I'm still processing The Scientist breaking his arm in this way; running through the house, not the potty talk. I was the cause of the fracture.) Somehow though, we are able to complete our routine in time for Monkey's bus.

I usually supervise, heavily mind you to keep on schedule, the getting ready of Monkey. He tends to sleep later which gives him less leniency with his time. Plus he's a little boy, and he hasn't quite trained his body to focus yet. Eat, get dressed, brush teeth, put on coat and backpack, head to bus stop. These are the steps to our morning. I walk with Monkey alone to the bus stop. The Scientist continues getting ready while we're gone.

As we walk, we sometimes hold hands. I don't check my phone. My undivided attention is his. Sometimes we see special birds. Sometimes there are questions that pop into his head. "Which one is our Christmas tree?" "Why did daddy put it there?" "Which one is a yard waste dumpster?" "Why is it green?" Sometimes I ask him questions about the night before. "How was gymnastics?" "What did you do last night?" "What was your favorite part?"

Most days he runs ahead to the corner. Every single time I get nervous. I wonder if he'll remember to stop at the corner? Once I catch up, he usually finds a game to play. When it snowed, he threw "snowballs" at me. This morning and yesterday morning, he wanted to break up the ice in the gutter. I usually stand and watch for the bus to turn onto the street at the end of the neighborhood. As soon as I see it, I tell him that his bus will be there soon. He always gets a little giddy when I tell him. This makes me sure of the fact that, while sometimes he is not motivated to go to school, once he's moving in that direction he enjoys himself.

As the bus pulls up in front of us, I offer him my hand. Partially, this is to make sure he doesn't run out too quickly. The other part, is because I don't know that he'll always let me take his hand. One morning he didn't want me to walk him to the door of the bus. It was bittersweet. Luckily, it only happened once. I give him the option now that he's done it once, "Do you want to do it yourself or do you want me to take you?" I now ask him daily as I offer my hand. I lean down so I can hear him better over the street noise. Every time, since that one time, he says, "I want you to take me." My heart melts. He still needs me. He still wants me. I walk him to the door and say "Good morning." to the bus driver, and "Bye Monkey." as he steps onto the bus. Then, I walk back to the curb. I can still feel the warmth of his little hand in my palm. I stand and wait. I watch to see if he'll remember to wave goodbye.

Most mornings, he does. I watch him put his seat belt on. Then, I see his little face, grinning widely, peering out the window. He waves to me. Again this feels bittersweet. He won't always look out the window smiling, waving. One morning we were fighting. I put my foot down and wouldn't let him take two different toys that each had many pieces to lose. He was angry with me. He wanted to take the pieces. He wanted to take both action figures. I wouldn't bend. There was no time for negotiations. Despite bus schedule regularity, I'm always anxious we'll be late. We never are. The walk that morning was tense. He was so angry. As we walked, he listed reasons why it was fine for him to do what he wanted. I tried to explain why it was not. We did the routine.

I told him when I first saw his bus. As it pulled up, I offered my him my hand, he took it. Now, I recall this was the morning he wanted to walk to the bus himself from the curb. His being angry with me pushed him to grow a little. I gave him his space. I supervised him from the curb. I watched him put on his seat belt. He turned his head to look out the window. He was smiling! I was surprised. He was just so angry with me. I watched his eyes as he remembered he was angry. He tried so hard to change his smile to a frowning, pouting face. That morning, like some other mornings, the bus driver took a little longer to pull away. That morning, like the other mornings, I was grateful for those precious extra seconds. In that time, he couldn't turn his smile into a frown. He began to laugh and smile again. He waved in a sort of silly resignation and turned forward as the bus pulled away.

It was over. He was fine. We were fine. In the mornings, after his bus pulls away I feel light as I walk back to the house. He's five already. He rides a bus to school. He still needs me and misses me while he's gone. Sure I enjoy the time during the day when the boys are away. I also miss my time with them as a stay at home mom. We need time away from one another though. It makes those times together that much more special. I've been so lucky to stay home with them those first few years when they develop so much socially and emotionally. I 'm so lucky to get those few precious minutes of just he and I in the morning when he's so confident and happy to move forward in his day. It makes me feel as if I'm made of air and light.

AAAAHHHHH........

That's me breathing in a deep big breath. I made it through the semester. My children are acting a bit like kids whose parents don't spend enough time with them. I'm hoping I can reverse that over the my winter break. I'm very hopeful. I know that my sweet, considerate, loving children are in there just below the surface and I will get that back. That's the child update and now onto the family update.

It's only been three days since I finished my final and I already feel like I've crammed a ton of family-time into those few, short days. Friday was laid back and relaxed. I took Monkey to the bus stop and The Scientist to school. Once there, I was invited to coffee at one of the other mom's house. My original plan was to head to Target and get some shopping done, but it's hard to pass up coffee and visiting with people you like, so I went there instead. Oh and LK brought donuts. I think they were from the place on Southwest. I can't remember but they were good. Anyway, after leaving there I did end up at Target. I spent two hours walking around and trying on clothes. I only ended up with a skirt and a dress, but I like them both a lot and only spent fourteen dollars. Awesome. After Target, I went to El Burrito Loco and got their specialty, El Burrito Loco, and went home to eat it. I was starving after shopping and the drive home from near Carondelet Park to my house just north of Tower Grove Park was excruciating. I watched nutjobs get followed with a camera Jersey Shore and ate my burrito. Then I headed to Monkey's class party. They didn't celebrate any holidays because there is one Jehovah's Witness, but there were two birthdays so there were cupcakes and singing. I was miserable throughout the afternoon after El Burrito Loco, but I pushed through.

Saturday I cleaned in the morning and my MIL came in a little after lunch. We had a nice time visiting in the afternoon. Then everyone got ready to go out. I took the boys to my Aunt L. and Aunt J.'s house. We met my mom, her husband C., my brothers J and A, and my brother K, his wife M, and their kids T and G. Unfortunately, Monkey had NOT taken a nap and he was great for about an hour, but then he was bouncing off the walls. My aunts are very particular about their Christmas tree. My aunt J keeps each individual box to put the ornaments back into. They used to have pretty indestructible ornaments when they had cats, but they no longer have cats. I was on pins and needles all night about Monkey darting around.

He was extremely fast and precise in his movements and I was having trouble keeping up in the small space winding around people. He kept turning on the same Charlie Brown Christmas ornament of Linus saying his Christmas speech. That was fine, but it scared the crap out of me when he would dart at the tree. It was like a praying mantis. One of the times I thought he was going for the ornament and I went to spot him and make sure that's all he did, but instead, he went straight past the tree, picked up this little ceramic vase thing, walked around the island, up to the refrigerator and tried to stick the vase thing on it in the span of about one and a quarter seconds. It didn't stick though and instead crashed to the ground making a skin cringing shattering sound. I wasn't too far behind, but not close enough to catch it. UGH! My aunt turned around and said a little sternly, but more entertained, "What was that?" I apologized profusely and she said she'd been hoping that thing would break so she could get rid of it. Thanks Aunt L.

That started the extremely hectic portion of the evening where my kids only wanted sugar due to tiredness leading me to defending the food from their little monkey paws and them snapping at each other, and at times Monkey would hit. It was awful and I kept remembering conversations with other moms when we would wonder why So and So's kids are so awful to each other. I mentioned above that I think it stems from lack of parental interaction and I've noticed it slowly getting worse since I started back at school. ICK! At least I know there is a problem and we're going to attack it.

Sunday I went to breakfast with my mom, C, my brothers, SIL and nephews. We went to City Diner because I thought I remembered a friend saying that it would be a good place to take my vegan brother...it was NOT a good place to take him. Everyone else seemed to like it enough. I would have rather gone back to MoKaBe's though. But my mom needed to get back to Ohio to write a paper and get back to work. Poor A was stuck eating french fries and that was it. Sorry A. After that, my MIL had the boys help her make breakfast sandwiches to freeze for the week. Then she took them to Washington, MO for a sleepover and visiting with family.

Dirty and I hardly knew what to do with ourselves. We went to the place I despise and would sometimes rather be submitted to test out medieval torture devises than step into Wal-Mart where we had gift cards. However, without children and only one child husband to appease while shopping it was almost pleasant. I was able to get a sewing machine for under $100 AND it also comes with a subscription reimbursement for Martha Stewart Living. Major score. Plus later when we got home, we realized that the guy who couldn't wait to get around us, when we were waiting for another couple to come out of their aisle at Wal-Mart, bought us a 5 pack of Hanes V-neck undershirts. Thanks Rude Dude. Although, I don't think that will make him any more chipper this holiday season, but we got a kick out of it.

We also went out to lunch and it was one of the most freeing feelings of eating out without your kids. After the evening spent at my aunts' house, I really needed that. While there, I asked if he wanted to go see The Road. By the time we hit another handful of stores and got to the movie theater, Dirty mentioned that we still hadn't seen New Moon and it was going to be another 2 hours. It was going to be two more hours at The Galleria too, but I argued that at least we could look around for more Christmas gifts. Now for my New Moon theater going story...

This story isn't that great, but it's a little funny. We got to the theater and I didn't expect a ton of people since it's been out for a while. We ended up being two of 11 movie patrons. There were five other ladies only one of which came by herself. The other four came in pairs. Then there were two homosexual couples who I think came for this. One of the couples I overheard remarking about Jacob Black stating that he was "born that way. It isn't a lifestyle choice." I have to say I might be one of those creepy women waiting for Jacob Black to reach the age of majority. He was pretty fine. I think Dirty liked him too. He kept saying the line from Austin Powers, "Women want to be with him, men want to be him." We then came home and wrapped presents and had cocktails. It was a really nice night.

Today, Dirty went for a bike ride. I worked out. Then the boys came home and we ate lunch. Monkey went down extremely easily for a nap, and I took a three hour nap on the couch. Once we were up, we attempted shopping again with the boys. That didn't work. We ended up at Toys 'r Us and the boys were able to spend some of their Christmas money. I tried checking my grades on my phone and it worked. Straight A's baby!!!!! I guess that there have to be some sacrifices and I'm processing how I feel about my children acting like hoodlums. Like I said before, I'm hoping to reverse that over this winter break...as well as apply for nursing schools...and check out kindergarten teacher options for Monkey...and of course, to take a nice relaxing break after busting my hump this semester.